By Paul Chimera
In-Focus Columnist and Feature Writer

OPEN LETTER TO MY GRANDAUGHTER,
KALI QUINN:

Dearest Kali,

I truly cannot find the words to thank you for “Vamping,” the one-woman play you created, star in, and are bringing to Buffalo from May 15 to 17 at the Road Less Traveled Theatre in the Market Arcade Film and Arts Centre in Buffalo.

You and I had the most wonderful, the most special relationship, my dear. And you continued to be my rock and my best friend, even when Alzheimer’s set in.

“Vamping” is about me, Julia Quinn. About the wonderful times you and I had – we were more like sorority sisters than grandmother and granddaughter! – and about this terrible form of dementia that continues to affect so many lives.

I’m so proud of you, Kali. Look how far you’ve come in just 27 years! Oh, I’m not at all surprised, of course, considering the great influence of people like Candace Carberry, your 1st grade teacher, who helped bring “Vamping” to Buffalo.

And such supporters and mentors as Barbara Broomell, retired head of SAIL (Specialized Approach to Individualized Learning). And Cristina Voto, head of Frontier Central High School’s music department. Oh, and don’t let me forget the Hughes family – Mary, Alex, and Carmen. I know they always made you laugh and not take things, or yourself, too seriously. They were so supportive of you throughout school, and in bringing the show to Buffalo.

I remember, Kali, how beautifully you played the violin back then, too. In fact, I recall how you “always did everything,” as you liked to say: soccer, drama, musicals, your love of history. But you were smart to lean mainly toward theatre, since it includes it all.

Well, maybe not soccer, not exactly, anyways. But you did go to graduate school for physical theatre, so you can still be athletic even while performing on stage. Be sure, honey, to tell everyone how “Vamping” came to be.

Gosh, do you remember how you once had all these grandiose ideas? But you kept coming back to the idea of me, for which I’ll always be so moved and grateful.

It was wonderful when you and I lived together for a brief while, in Buffalo. And even though it was difficult for both of us when you left for California to continue your education at Dell’Arte School of International Physical Theatre, I know your heart was in the right place. You made the right decision.

Anyway, please make sure you tell people what your play is all about. Don’t be modest in announcing that you’ve been performing “Vamping” for about two years now, all across the Northeast, in different theatre festivals and off-off Broadway. It’s lovely how you play five different characters: you as a little girl, playing yourself, and reliving the cherished relationship we had.

I love your intimate connection with the audience, Kali! “The audience is my partner,” you always said. And how, when I call you and ask you to come visit me, because I want to hold you like a baby, you want to drop everything and come to me. But you can’t. It’s sort of a metaphor – is that the right word? – for people who struggle with loved ones with Alzheimer’s or senile dementia.

The struggle of letting people go, slowly. I know how you really would have wanted to visit me more often in that nursing home, but you had your own life to live. I understood and respected that.

In the play, it’s marvelous how you try to help me find myself in my memories, as you go back in time into the aging mind. And how, in the role you also play as my nurse, you take care of my daily needs. And you give me hope.

Of course, you play me, Julia, at age 91, which was how old I was when, last year, I said goodbye to the nursing home and hello to heaven. How ironic, don’t you think, that I died on May 15 – the same date your show opens in Buffalo.

I know audiences will love the way you gracefully reveal a string of my fondest memories. Most especially how I met your grandfather – my dear husband Frank – at Lake Erie, when I was all of sixteen.

I remember him grabbing my feet under water. And how, as you explain it, playing me on stage, I talk to your grandpa, telling him that I’m confused over why he isn’t here any longer. But, oh, how you bring out so beautifully the fact that the love we had surely remains, and always will.

The multi-media dimension to your play is really quite creative, Kali, and profound. For example, how the afghan I made for you in real life, and the wheel from my wheel chair, lead the audience into a dream landscape, with the help of filmed images projected behind you. Video montages, I think you call them. Very impressive.

It’s also touching how, when my wheel chair tips over at one point, I suddenly become a little girl again, playing hide and seek. And the spinning wheel becomes a movie projector. What’s also great is some of the truly funny scenes. I heard you’ve had audiences rolling in the aisles. That’s called comic relief, and we could all surely use some of that Kali Quinn wit!

I know you’ll give credit to the two partners with whom you wrote “Vamping” – Jonathan Maloney and Daniel Burmester. Jonathan also serves as director and video designer, if I’ve got that right.

So, my dearest Kali, I couldn’t be happier for you, and for the people of Western New York, who’ll get to enjoy this educational theatrical experience. As you said, they can get tickets at www.brownpapertickets.com; by calling 1-800-838-3006; and of course at the door.

Oh, my love, you will tell the reporter man there’s a talk-back after each performance, where audience members can ask questions and share experiences, won’t you? And that Saturday afternoon’s performance (May 17), will be specially geared toward local caretakers and families affected by dementia, with a panel of experts on both the science and administrative end, along with people directly affected by the disease.

Partial proceeds will benefit the Alzheimer’s Association of Western New York – be sure the newspaperman mentions that in his article, too, ok?

I’m so proud of you, Kali! An ambitious young woman from Hamburg, now co-founding artistic director of GUTworks (www.gutworks.org; 802-869-1817), based in Vermont. It’s terrific that you also teach theatre at Vermont Academy. And now I understand you’re also theatre events coordinator for a new refurbished opera house in Bellows Falls, Vermont. You always were unable to sit still, my dear – thank God for that!

Finally, sweetheart, I found the note you wrote, explaining your ultimate purpose in doing this very special, awareness-raising play:

Grandma, I hope to show people how other people live, and share with them other people’s experiences. And the best way to do that is creating and performing theatre. Live performance is a very unique thing – a very integral, visceral, and ritual part of our community.

It’s helpful just to get a group of people sitting together for one night, and that’s what I hope to create. We’ve had a lot of losses in all our families in the theatre company. But everything we’ve chosen to do has been amazingly successful. Lots of response, and we’ve provided a forum for bringing these people together.

Yes, my dear Kali, and this opportunity for Buffalonians to enjoy “Vamping” will also bring you and me together again. Not that we were ever apart. Because we’ve really always been together, kind of like sisters. You once told me, “Grandma, when you’re away from me, I felt something was wrong with the world.”

Fortunately for us, Kali, we’ll always be together. And the world is just fine.

Eternal gratitude to a terrific granddaughter and best friend, with all my love,

Grandma Jule